...if we didn't show up with vigor?
...if we held back?
...if we made an excuse?
...if we didn't lean in?
...if we didn't take a risk?
...if we weren't generous?
...if we didn't listen?
People notice and value who we are and what we stand for far more than what we do. And who we are is largely made up of tiny acts, small promises and the habits we've developed. If we work on the bits and pieces, the legacy takes care of itself.
The habits most likely to help us make progress are the ones we're most challenged by, the ones which get in the way of going about our day. Convenience is the enemy of discovery, creativity and adventure. But, it's this sort of pioneering, doing the hard, and often inconvenient thing which leads to innovation and better. And, it almost never happens by chance. It happens because we decided to go there, then to build a regimen and endure the slog.
Mostly, convenience is for our comfort. And no creative act or art comes from comfort. Rather, it's born from pushing ourselves towards inconvenience and the discomfort of it. The paradox is the practice of building in habits of discomfort ultimately becomes comfortable. It becomes our new normal. And this in turn demands more discomfort. And so the ratchet turns.
Small, intentional inconveniences eventually make things better. It's a habit worth forming.
Everyone is busy. Our brains have a hard time doing nothing. So, there's a tendency to fill the ebbs of time with something. When we're at work, being busy is tied to being productive in the service to someone else. The rest of the time, busy takes on a different persona. There's the business of doing chores, taking care of personal business and generally getting things done. This is the stuff we've told ourselves is more important than something else. So, we make ourselves feel productive by doing it. And on the measurement of pure activity, we've accomplished something. But, at what expense? What's the cost of doing one thing over another?
It's easy to fall into the trap of merely doing something to feel productive...because it's safe. It's safe because it's predictable. But the truly important work, the work which can change our lives and those around us, is hard. It's hard because it might not work. It's hard because we might fail. But, the hard work really matters.
Too often we put the hard things off. We rationalize doing them later when conditions are more suitable or we have more time...perhaps tomorrow. Of course, we might be busy tomorrow. Or perhaps, tomorrow doesn't come?
Most of what we call busy work is easy. But, we need more of the hard. Maybe we should get busy doing the hard work instead. Spend five minutes doing the hard thing each day, before doing anything else. At least it's a start.
Most of us use calendars as a reminder of deadlines, appointments and special commitments. In this way, they're quite useful. They help us serve others. They remind us what should be done when. But, they fall short in helping us do our best work. We can schedule time at the gym...but come up with reasons not to go. We can establish a schedule to learn...and not show up.
A calendar brings the urgency of something we owe someone to the forefront. It creates enough tension to force action, albeit often at the last minute. But, the hard work we need to do for ourselves, the regimen necessary to get ourselves to the gym, to the computer or to the classroom comes from a different place. It comes from initiative and caring enough about the thing to be persistent and resilient in the face of hardship. Doing the work despite the roadblocks, despite not having enough time is done in the present. Practicing generosity, gratitude, better public speaking, math, writing is something we can do anytime if we choose to. But alas, some of us need a crutch, an organized place to put the practice time. So, perhaps a better calendar would include time for regimens, habits and persistence, and not just the outcomes. Of course, once we've committed to the work and made it a habit, we don't need a schedule anymore. We merely do it because it's what we decided to do.
We don't need a New Year's resolution or any other artificial reminder to set new expectations and try harder. We don't need a calendar. Our best work is done when we decide to do it. And, it's always time to do it.
Goal achievement for the most part is the result of work. And, our work is what defines us. It's how we're seen by the world. A title doesn't describe who we are, it's a symbol of what we've achieved and where someone might find us doing our work. It's the work, the regimen, the habit of showing up with a certain posture, attitude and skill, the digging in and enduring the slog which is who we have become. Our approach to, prejudice for and persistence to make our work better is evidenced in the habits we've developed. Some of this is wrapped up in the positions and results we've achieved. But mostly, it's underneath, in the weeds, where no one is looking.
If we want to achieve more and better results, we should start with deciding who we need to become to give us the best chance to achieve them. And then, develop the work habits to become this person.
A writer who doesn't write on schedule, with intent, even when she doesn't feel like it...isn't a writer.
A teacher who doesn't seek to better understand students...isn't teaching.
A speaker who doesn't doesn't practice and perfect presenting...isn't a speaker.
A researcher who isn't obsessed with finding new ways of turning data into information...isn't a researcher.
What habits do we need to develop to do better work? Who do we need to become to make the difference we seek to make?
Don't show us the resume. Show us the approach to the work instead.
If we don't like something we're doing, work to stop it. Straightforward, but not at all simple.
Stop...
biting our nails
eating cupcakes
cheating
wasting and stealing people's time
wasting our own time
buying books and not reading them
being condescending
watching the news
working all the time
This time of year we focus a lot on starting. What can we stop doing instead? How can we make things better by stopping? Maybe, we could begin by doing a little less of it...baby steps.
...is the enemy of the habit.
The interesting part of starting something new is that it's new. The excitement we feel with a new endeavor, even if it's physically or mentally hard, is the fuel we need to keep us coming back. Once the new wears off however, boring and tedious take its place. It becomes work...a slog. The best time to rationalize our way out of a habit is during the slog because hanging right over there, in plain view, is the excitement of something new, something different, something more interesting. Something seemingly more worth doing.
There are two ways to deal with the tediousness of work. Make it ever more interesting, which is almost impossible to do. Or, bring the slog forward. Determine up front what we'll do when we reach the point of being bored. This is the hard part of work. Not necessarily the work itself. But, the enduring nature of it...the sameness. We need to decide if the slog is worth it, before we start. Then, we can decide whether to start in the first place.
What would happen if we stopped our work? What would happen if the sum of our habits, the work, was left incomplete? Would it be missed? The paradox is we can't be certain of the answers until we've started...and endured the tedious slog. And then, we need to remind ourselves why we already decided to keep going.
Happy New Habit season. Choose wisely.
We're more likely to form habits when we're comfortable, when the first step is obvious and manageable. Practicing guitar is more likely to occur if the instrument is kept in plain sight and within reach. We're more likely to improve our coding skills if the computer is accessible, and we commit to opening the web browser. Habits, both good and bad, are formed with small, manageable steps, not giant leaps.
Creativity, on the other hand, comes from discomfort. The art of crafting something and delivering it in a meaningful way doesn't come from comfort. It comes from the hard work of making the decision to show our work and from the persistence, practice and effort necessary to create something worth talking about. The responsibility of the artist is to create something from nothing, without a script. And this comes only from discomfort. The artist is comfortable with discomfort, in fact seeks it...is lost without it. The guitar is placed out of reach to force a challenge...to go somewhere new.
Use comfort to do the work. Use discomfort to create art. Choose wisely.
The universe is in a constant state of motion. Wait long enough and the star constellations will appear dramatically different than they do today. People of the distant future won't see Orion like we do. And it's likely, they won't see each other the same way either.
There's virtually nothing we can do to alter the celestial state. It will randomly become what it will become...entropy on full display. But, we can shift who we will become. We can choose to act in ways which might seem relatively insignificant now, but magnified over time, may cause a very different outcome, both for us and the world around us. Our poor eating habits aren't immediately visible. Our offensive language doesn't affect millions. Neither does helping an old lady cross the street. But, our persistent habits, both good and bad, change the culture. And, over time, our culture determines how the world, and perhaps the universe, sees us.
Our culture and appearance don't come from big moves. Rather, they're made with tiny steps...drip, drip. Each one counts, especially in the grand scheme of things. Choose wisely.
We often think of achievement in terms of the big acts...making our big dent in the universe. It's sometimes lost that these big, more noticeable dents are made up of much smaller ones...the habits which turn the ratchet in the right direction. Our work is made-up of tiny dents, behaviors and practices, which define our culture and how we are seen by the world. The larger dents are determined foremost by our actions underneath, often when no one is looking....our character.
A character of persistent forward motion, learning and adapting, chiseling away to make things better, is the key to making progress.
The size of the dent isn't so important. But, making them is. Best then to focus on making small ones, which might just lead to a big one or two.
Please go make your dent!
Turning professional (not getting paid, but rather taking action even when we don’t feel like it) is a commitment to progress, to forward motion. Nothing more and nothing less. Without this simple promise to act forward, nothing can be gained, and goals can not be reached. We must act towards something in order for it to be achieved. And the best way to do it is turn pro at the things we know will help achieve it. Want to write a book? Turn pro at writing sentences. Act forward by committing to a daily routine of sitting at the keyboard or picking up pen and paper. Start with small actions. Then build habits and routines around those actions. Make acting forward a habit. Why not carve out five minutes for a new habit today?
The hardest part of developing a new habit (which leads to a new skill which leads to a new you) is to commit...to promise, out loud, to someone. And then, to be so specific there’s no way out. Habits don’t become habits without commitment, which means showing up even when you don’t feel like it. And we can double down by removing all of the escape hatches by being very specific about what we are going to do. Tip: start small. Habits aren’t developed from large leaps...rather from tiny steps. Build confidence in yourself. But, please do the thing you promised to do.
Not today, tomorrow or even next week. Not in reaction to the urgent. But, in response to the important, our life changing work. What next step (or first step) could we, should we, must we take right now to be sure to stay on track? What habit can we develop to ensure we make the change we seek? How can we break the cycle of comfort which comes with reaction, and turn our energy into the discomfort which comes with leading change? How can we avoid letting ourselves off the hook? Perhaps start with five minutes each day dedicated to our most important work.
What’s next? Choose wisely.
In the context of getting better, I did carries more weight than I need to.
It’s a simple differentiator, but worth pondering. What’s keeping us from moving forward, from getting better, inch by inch, drip by drip? What small commitments can we choose to make to put ourselves on the hook…to gain traction to make things better? How much time does it take to start building a habit of better? Five minutes will do as a start.
Choose wisely.
Multi-tasking is an illogical, irrational concept. And promoting it as something to be better at is doing us more harm than good. Doing more than one thing at a time can not lead to the same outcome as doing each thing on its own within its own time. If we focus on driving, and only driving, with no other distractions, we will drive better. If we have a meeting with someone with no interruptions (or the possibility of being interrupted), the meeting will be more productive and the person we met with will feel more engaged. We might not enjoy such focus. But, the logic (and science) behind this is hardly debatable. So, why do we choose to multi-task? To be more efficient? To cram more into the time and space allotted?
Some forms of multi-tasking are fine. Listening to Bob Dylan while paddling a canoe is okay. One activity doesn’t degrade the other. Some activities are harmonious and symbiotic and seem to work better together. But when focus and attention are necessary to affect a better outcome and any less focus negatively affects that outcome, multi-tasking is not a good idea.
Of course there’s a simple solution…set aside an appropriate amount of time for each item. Yet it’s not so simple because of the time pressures (both put upon us and self inflicted) we live under. So, we cheat. We write the essay while our phone is on. We hold meetings in places where interruptions are likely to occur. And, we take our work with us on vacation.
The key might be to build smaller portals of time for focus. Too often we try to take big slices (thirty minutes or an hour are common) and we end up succumbing to those outside forces. What if we started with five minutes? Surely we can carve out five minutes of uninterrupted time to focus on someone or something. What if we made this a habit? What if we became really good at it? Would five minutes lead to ten? Maybe…maybe not. But, it’s worth a try. Choose five minutes to single task…and stick to it. See what happens.
HT to Beth Fitzgerald (page 177 of her splendid book, The Wake-Up Call)