The Cost of Empathy

Understanding a person's point of view comes at a price. Beyond the effort and time, there's more at stake. It's possible we might have seen things incorrectly. It's possible we may have come to the wrong conclusion. It's possible we had the wrong impression of this person. It's possible...

The risk we accept when we truly dig deeper and care enough to understand why someone feels they way they feel is we might change our mind. And changing our mind might lead to even more possibility. And, it might make things better. The alternative almost certainly won't, and will probably cost more. Choose wisely.

Can We Make It Better?

Some things can't be improved. We can't make our height, our place of birth or the job we left last year any better. It's tempting to add things like temperament, public speaking, creativity, drawing, playing music and hearing tone to this list. These are often referred to as talents or gifts, which are somehow naturally bestowed upon us at birth. Hogwash. This is just a way of hiding and avoiding the fear of failing, which is what's required to get better.

If we can learn about it, practice it and measure our progress, we can get better at it. If we can see our future self becoming more approachable, more generous, better at giving and receiving feedback, playing an instrument, singing in front of people, articulating clear points or being a better rower, the only thing stopping us from getting there is our choice to not make it a priority to do so. It has nothing to do with natural talent.

We need to be mindful of the possibilities we rule out...because the list is probably shorter than we think.

Should Have

Perhaps we should have...

• been kinder

• been more curious

• given more effort

• turned left instead of right

• paused

• purchased less

• purchased more

• watched less TV

• exercised

But we didn't. Now, we have a choice. Treat it as a mistake. Or, as a gift.

We can use yesterday as leverage towards possibility. Or, we can use it to fuel regret and a downward spiral. It's an important choice. And one we get to reflect upon again tomorrow. Choose wisely.

It's The Thought That Counts

Actually, it’s an act that counts…a willful, meaningful action with purpose. Thoughts alone aren’t going to change much of anything. The hard work is in putting ourselves out there and leaning in perhaps when others won’t. The generous act of caring enough to move beyond mere thought makes a difference. Thoughts awaken possibility. Acts make things possible. We need more of both.