Perhaps one of the most impactful gifts we can give someone is our attention. Making someone feel like they are the center of the universe, even if just for a moment or two, is a skillful act in developing a trusting relationship. Emphasis on skill and act, because it takes both to make it work. Undivided attention isn’t effective if it’s done casually. It requires intent, practice and persistence to become part of our being. The reason we need to work so hard at it is because it’s not what most of us were trained to do. We can’t be in the business of being right, making our point or worried about getting credit if we’re truly interested in making someone else feel heard. Years of conditioning to perform make it challenging to yield the stage to someone else.
One of the biggest obstacles to giving attention is talking. Other than the words “thank you”, “I’m sorry” or “I understand", it’s virtually impossible to give someone the spotlight if we’re filling space with our words. Consider the willful act of less talking to improve a relationship.
Say less, notice more, slow down and listen. Help someone feel they are what matters most. Rinse and repeat. Choose wisely.