Because It's Real

The Earth isn't flat. Birds are living, breathing animals. The Matterhorn stands 4,478 meters tall. These things aren't debatable...yet, they are.

Facts are backed by science, proven outcomes through trial and error. They can't be proven false. Yet, they're regularly disputed...irrational for most, but not for those who believe differently.

We all have stories in our head. And, they're different for each of us. They must be. We're all unique. No two people have exactly the same world view, exactly the same belief system, had exactly the same parents, teachers and friends. No two people have exactly the same outlook about everything. All of us have different dreams and desires.

The key to changing anyone is to first seek to understand the framework of their world view. How do they define real? And, then to understand how it feels to be wrong. Sometimes, it's better to find someone else to change.

They Don't Understand

Well, of course they don’t. They aren’t you. The noise inside their heads isn’t like yours. They didn’t grow up like you. They didn’t attend the same school, have the same friends or parents. They didn’t live in the same neighborhood as you. And they didn’t face the same challenges or have the same successes as you. In fact they don’t define much just like you do. So, how can they possibly understand…you?

Too often when we’re interested in leading change, we underestimate the power of another culture, another way of seeing the world. We mistakenly believe that our rational (which is likely not rational at all) way of seeing and doing things is universal. It’s not. Otherwise more of us would eat crickets instead of beef. 

The hardest part of leadership isn’t figuring out what to change or even how to change it. The hardest part is finding someone who can get as excited as us about where we are going…someone open to the idea. And that idea needs to match the story they are telling themselves…over and over. It’s not rational, but its theirs. And we need to understand that. Find just the right people who believe what we believe…and we can go somewhere together. Probably best to ignore the others for now.

HT to my friend Annette for the reminder.