The Next One

What will our next conversation be like? The next introduction? The next interview or sales pitch? Will it be approached exactly like the last one? Or, can we make it better?

It's easier to modify physical things because the specifications are definable and measurable. We can make it smoother, rounder, stronger or more pliable. The impact and value of a conversation however is much harder to determine. The only measurement is how we make someone feel. And this in itself is hard to measure. There's no scale for delight, empathy or compassion. It's completely individual. But, despite the lack of spec, we can try harder. We can become a better listener, more friendly, more approachable and more compassionate. We can make small adjustments and watch how people respond. Caring more about how we interact might be the most important choice we get to make.

We can't measure the clicks of the ratchet, but we know turning it will make things better. It almost certainly isn't going to make it worse.

We can't change the last one. But, we can use it to influence the next one...if we choose to.

Please Wait

No one likes to wait. It’s an infringement on our personal use of time. We could always be doing something else, something more important, something more fun than waiting. Waiting strikes a very personal chord.

So, when does it make sense to add one more...?

• Barista

• Sales Clerk

• Call Center Operator

• Teacher

• Bank Teller

• Engineer

There’s a fair amount of research and science behind the systems we’ve created to minimize waiting. Even if economics was incidental, only so many people can be enlisted for any particular task due to physical, skill and mental constraints. But, machines and processes can be engineered to solve for some of the variables otherwise bound by human limitations...speed, time and specification. We can use machines to make things more quickly and more accurately. Slowly, but surely, we’ve replaced people with bits, bytes, robots and systems. In the process, we’ve also changed the tolerance by those being served. We tolerate not being looked in the eye, greeted warmly on the telephone and having someone care enough to solve our particular problem right away. We’ve traded personal for immediate, cheaper and sometimes more reliable.

But, at some point, somewhere in the system, a human needs to decide. Someone needs to choose which variable to solve for. Someone needs to handle the unique problem which has escalated beyond the front line system. Someone with the skills of generosity, empathy and the goal of building trust needs to show up...because at some point it always becomes personal. And it’s virtually impossible to engineer our way around it.

Our patience changes, just like our mood and affinity for fashion. One person’s idea of an acceptable time to wait is often not for the person next to them. It’s unique to our mood, our circumstances and what we believe to be the right thing.

The important work is to make things personal at just the right moment...to delight someone. This requires more than engineering. It requires leadership, and all the skills most engineering tries to avoid.

We need good engineering. But we also need the art of making things personal. Because ultimately we are humans serving humans.

What Will You Teach?

There’s an abundance of teaching the hard skills…calculus, spreadsheets, present value analysis, vocabulary, coding and so on. On the flip side there’s not nearly enough effort put into the essential skills of leading, engagement, empathy, collaboration, persuasion, generosity, kindness and respect.

Successful people have mastered the people skills as well as the technical ones. In the world of ever increasing connectivity, the separator, the reason they are so effective as leaders of change is due to their competency in working with other people, their ability to engage, persuade and connect. It’s no longer just because they have the highest engineering IQ.

Everyone is a teacher at some point. What will you choose to teach? And most importantly, what do you need to learn to teach it?