Effective listening is an intentional act. It's a posture of leaning in, giving someone our undivided attention, hearing and processing what they're saying to us. It's quite easy to spot ineffective listening. Facial expressions, distractions, body language, responses and reactions are all clues. Sometimes, the recipient just isn't interested or the timing isn't right. But more often, a large part of the burden falls upon us as the story tellers. Is the subject important to the listener? Is our tone and cadence supportive of being understood? What's the conversation for? Is it to enroll someone in an idea? Or, are we delivering a tough message? Or, is it simply chit chat? Each requires a different approach. But, they all require a story, one important and interesting to the listener.
If this was the last conversation we had with someone, would we change it? Would we tell the story differently, with a different posture? Would the message be more clear? Would we make our point more directly? Would we seek a higher level of engagement by asking more questions? Would we say less?
Listening only works when someone wants to hear us. It's our job then to create something worth listening to. Choose wisely...it might be our only shot.